The Noir
by GrowlyNoir
Summary: Follows Adieu to the Zoo. Howard takes care of his special kitten, while Tony desperately tries to get attention. The Noir remains very confused. Boo has Bollo trouble.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note **- This is a sequel to my first story, Adieu to the Zoo. Please read that first or you'll be confused : )

Purrs & leopard kisses to everyone who reads/reviews.

*Internal Dialogue Guide*

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - _**italic**__ (_single speech marks_)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Keeper

Howard Moon awakened with a light heart and without bothering to put on a robe, headed directly for the living room. There he would find, he hoped, the rare creature who with that dazzling smile, that wriggly nose, those deep blue orbs; made every day of Howard's life special.

'**Forward today**, **aren**'**t** **we**?' teased Head Cell.

"I have to be sure. I can't lose him again."

'**Should have kept him close then**.'

"He isn't ready," Howard scolded. "And I gave Naboo my word. Bollo too."

'_**Those**_** two aren**'**t** **worthy of your word**.'

"Boo's not so bad. He does help me sometimes. Bollo... well, the feeling's mutual, but we can live with each other. We have to."

Putting Bollo firmly from his mind, Howard grasped the door handle; then hesitated. His chest was exposed. Those questing fingers, inquisitive lips, the _purring_. Howard almost swooned. When Vince purred, it was far sweeter even than jazz.

'**Howard**... **Howard**... **Howard**...'

"Right. Stop stalling, Moon."

He went in.

The Noir lay on the couch, still deeply asleep – and _purring_. Howard stood over him, spellbound. He knew that one stroke of the head, one kiss of the nose, just one little tickle of the toes...

'**How daring**.'

"I am a gentleman, Sir. I am NOT tickling his toes."

'**Pity**.'

"At least not yet."

**So**...?

"Well, I..."

_Pop_. A mini monster appeared on the arm rest above Vince's feet. It had pink, bubbly skin, a moustache and a jaunty hat. It stared at Howard.

"Um... maybe I'll just let him sleep. No work after all."

Charlie continued to stare.

"I'll get dressed. Check the kitchen. Good plan."

Howard fled from the room.

**o - o **

"Hey, Noir."

Vince's purr changed to a growl.

"Now, don't be hasty," Tony urged.

_Howard and I can sort ourselves out_, _thank you_.

"No. I need _You_ to help me."

_Help you how_?

"I'm trapped. Get me out."

_No_.

"Please."

_Where_?

"Below you. In a cupboard, I think."

_I_'_m_ _not sure I should_. _I_'_ll_ _ask Howard_.

"But..."

_GO away_.

Unwilling to be punched again, Tony severed his link.

'_**You really should learn to block**_,' lectured Brain Cell.

_I_'_m_ _too curious_.

'_**He**_'_**s**_ _**a rapist**_, _**remember**_?'

_Yeah_, _but_... _I don_'_t_ _know_… _He didn_'_t_…

'_**get the chance**_.'

_No_. _But if he knows something_… _but why wouldn't_ _Boo have told me_? _I_'_m_ _confused_.

'_**You**_'_**ve**_ _**better things to concern about**_.'

Vince returned his thoughts to Howard, wondering what he dared do on waking.

_How can I not get carried away_? _He_'_s_ _so_... _so_... _manly_. _I_'_d_ _kiss him all over if he let me_. _And I_'_d_ _love to snuggle up in bed_, _but_... _even when we were infants_, _he never allowed me._ _He only had one teddy, Julian. He never had him in bed though_. _Julian was always at the foot_. _If I had a nightmare_, _Howard would lend Julian to me_. _That_'_s_ _the closest we ever got_.

**o - o **

Howard carefully laid out all his clothes on the bed.

"I have the full spectrum of brown," he said proudly. "Not that Noir eyes ever appreciate the subtleties. Of course, if I wear an Hawaiian shirt, he claims they hurt, the little tit. There's no pleasing him."

'**Ha**.'

"Not that I'm _Trying_ to."

'**Course**.'

"Hmmp. It was a lot easier when I could just pull on my Zooniverse jacket." He'd left both of them in the suitcase, but now he took them out and compared them fondly. "Vince always got into trouble for his violations of school uniform. He'd get sent home or put in detention. At the zoo though, nobody cared. Especially not Fossil. But who else would be insane enough to hire him?"

'**Or indeed you**.'

"Alright. I deserved that."

'**Yes**.'

Howard grumbled as he refolded the jackets and put them back in the case.

'**So what Are you going to wear**?'

He compared colours and textures before selecting a sky blue shirt, scattered with sunshine yellow. Then he pulled on beige trousers. After spending more time on hair and ablutions than strictly necessary; even borrowing Vince's mirror for a final check, Howard was ready to wake his kitten.

'**Toes or nose**?'

"We shall see, Sir."

In between Howard and the couch was a full grown bubble gum beast – just staring.

"Don't kill me," the maverick begged. "I've so much to give."

Charlie smiled, although it looked more like a snarl. He slithered forward.

"Howard."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Thank you."

Howard tried to stop trembling.

"You… want to…thank me? Why?"

"You saved Vince. You're good Keeper."

"Thanks, but I… he…"

"Loves you. It's eternal, Howard."

Howard turned bright pink and got the Chokes. Charlie launched a tendril of gum that wrapped around the Keeper's wrist.

"He may fly high, he may fly far, but when he falls… you, Howard, you…will be the man he needs. _You_."

Howard could not take this in.

"Me?"

Charlie released him and just looked.

"Me?"

"You _Give_ far more than you know. So don't be afraid. He'll come back."

"Always?"

"Forever."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note **– Special purrs for Adurna Skulblaka, WearerofCapes & iceysummer02 for still following & being so sweetly enthusiastic. xxx

Internal Dialogue Guide

Vince - _italic _(no speech marks) / The Brain Cell - **_italic_**_ (_single speech marks_)_

Howard - normal (no speech marks) / Head Cell - **normal **(single speech marks)

Kitten

Howard watched Charlie shrink to pocket size, still amazed by the monster's faith that he and Vince could never be parted. For once he was not embarrassed by the tell-tale tears in his eyes. Charlie stared up at him and Howard instinctively reached down. Holding the bubble gum beast gently in his palm, he whispered, "Thank you."

Charlie growled his appreciation as Howard stroked his knobbly back with a finger. Vince was right. There was no stickiness. After a few minutes, he placed his tiny friend upon the Noir's chest. They shared a final, trusting look; then in a blink, Charlie was gone.

Howard turned his full attention to Vince. He examined every little detail from wonky nose to those ever-so-tempting toes. His hand hovered.

"Howard Moon, what ARE you doing?" he scolded. "Tickling is for punishment. You've made that clear."

'**Lips**,' Head Cell suggested. '**Kiss his lips**.'

"No."

'**Go on**. **You**'**re** **the prince and he**'**s** **Sleeping Beauty**.'

"This isn't a fairy tale."

'**It so IS**.'

Howard started to tremble violently. "I can't… I can't… I… just… no, I mustn't."

'**Why**?'

"Because… because… he… I…"

Howard ran into the kitchen and sank down on the tiles.

"We're…not…ready."

'**You and he**…'

"If he laughed or got scared I... I... I just couldn't bear it."

'**You can**'**t** **predict him**, **Howard**.

"No, but..."

'**Okay**. **But you still have to wake him**.'

"There's... no hurry."

**o - o **

Naboo stood in his pants, arms folded tight, lips grimly straight. His eyes were like ice. Underneath the snoring gorilla, he could just see the cuff of his favourite robe.

"Bollo Beast," he said softly. "I know you're missing Vince. I am too. But..."

Muttering Xooberon curses, he strode from the room and borrowed a dressing gown from Pete. To his disgust, it was earth brown.

"What's that Moon doing with my Noir?" he wondered. "The big ball bag."

Pete brought him a cup of tea. At the bottom it said, _Mind your own business_, _Boo_.

The shaman smiled.

**o - o **

Howard walked back into the living room and gasped. The couch was empty.

"Vince?" he whispered.

'**Check the bedroom**, **idiot**.'

"Yes. Of course. Where else would he be?"

Head Cell tutted. Howard charged to the bedroom door and knocked firmly.

"Vince! I'm coming in."

He flung the door open and saw – an empty bed, two suitcases, _No Vince_!

"When I find you, little man..."

'**Don**'**t** **blame Him**.'

Howard punched the pillow a few times, before throwing it across the room.

_I_'_m_ _okay_, _Howar_d, came a contrite voice in his head.

"WHERE ARE YOU?"

_On_... _the_... _roof_.

"Why?"

_I was_... _exploring_.

Howard did his best to stay calm.

"Vincent..."

The silence stretched.

_How_?

"Vincent, have you dressed?"

_No_. _I didn_'_t_ _want to_... _um_... _I thought you were asleep_.

"Well, I WASN'T."

_Oh_. _You usually wake me_.

Howard took a very deep breath; while Head Cell face palmed.

"COME down. At ONCE."

_Yes_, _Howard_.

Vince mewed apologies to his cat companions before carefully descending the ladder to find Howard.

"He's up on the wrong side today."

'_**He**_'_**s**_ _**just worried**_,' scolded Brain Cell.

"I was warm enough and I'm sure footed."

'_**You were missing**_ – _**Again**_.

"I didn't think. I was just... curious."

'_**Yeah**_.'

"The octopus. I need to let him out."

'_**Go to Howard**_.'

Vince gulped. "I feel safer with Tony right now."

'_**Howard**_'_**s**_ _**a big teddy and you know it**_.'

"I'm messing us up already," Vince sighed.

'_**It**_'_**ll**_ _**be okay**_.'

For the first time ever, Vince felt he should knock. The wait was excruciating. He heard solid footsteps, a silence; then abruptly the door opened and Howard was _LOOKING _at him. Those tiny eyes quickly changed from anger to relief. Two arms stretched out.

"Come here, Trouble."

Shyly, Vince pressed against his friend's chest and let the arms envelop him.

"You scared me, Kitten."

"I know. I'm sorry."

They held together for precious minutes, each drawing strength and comfort; while their brain cells despaired.

'_**They**_'_**re**_ _**hopeless**_, _**aren**_'_**t**_ _**they**_?'

'**Completely**.'


	3. Chapter 3

Pounce!

Howard gently detached himself from the Noir and looked him up and down.

"Right," he said in a no nonsense tone. "Time for _You_ to get dressed."

"Do I have to?" Vince whined.

Howard tweaked his friend's nose. "Yes. You do. _Get_ your clothes. _Now_."

Vince did not move. He boldly held Howard's gaze, poked out the tip of his tongue and fluttered his eye lashes. The maverick turned instantly pink and began to tremble. A grin spread over Vince's whole face and his eyes gleamed with mischief. He stepped forward and suggested,

"You could take yours off and then I could... maybe... erm... look at you properly."

Recovering his vocal chords, Howard warned, "Vincent, you're carried away."

"I know," Vince giggled. "Because you're so... _prrrrrrrrrr_fect."

Kitten pounced and Howard fell backwards onto the bed. Before he had a chance to get up, Vince was upon him and leopard kissing his face. The sensation was weird but not, Howard had to admit, unpleasant. Vince carefully avoided contact with lips and moustache to his friend's relief, but everywhere else was licked thoroughly. Howard stayed completely silent until Vince rolled off him and on to the floor, giggling madly.

"Vincent Noir," said Howard softly, sitting up. "First I am going to dry off and then..."

The threat hung in the air until Vince was on his feet and paying proper attention.

"Yes, Howard?"

"... You just wait."

Vince smirked. Howard _looked_ at him. Vince poked out the tip of his tongue. Howard _Looked_ at him harder. The tongue disappeared. Howard got off the bed and strode to the door. He opened it, looked back, frowned. That cheeky grin was back on Vince's face. The eyes sparkled with mirth.

"Stay," Howard growled; finger raised.

Vince nodded, waved; blew him a kiss. Howard closed the door firmly and headed for the bathroom. Just for a moment, Vince wondered if he had gone too far.

"No," he decided. "He enjoyed it or he would have punched me."

With that, he broke into more laughter.

"Oy!" Tony shouted. "I'm getting claustro. What are you DOING up there, you foolish Noir?" Once more he tried to push in, only to be enclosed in a balloon of suffocating, pink bubble gum and tossed out. "This is an outrage!"

Howard tipped a jug of cold water over his head; then dried himself carefully.

"What has got into that... that... creature? Well, he's for it now."

When he re-entered, Vince was bent over the red suitcase, cursing at the straps. Howard gave him a light swat on the buttocks. Vince squeaked his surprise; then turned around, indignant.

"Howard! You didn't knock."

"No."

"But I could have been undressed!"

Howard only smiled.

"Arms up, please, Vince."

Vince felt a flicker of foreboding, but was too curious not to obey. Slowly he raised his arms. Howard's fingers were like lightning. They pulled Vince's sleep shirt over his head with startling ease.

"How?"

"Keep them up."

The maverick tossed the clothing aside and lunged forward with his fingers again. Taking absolutely no notice of the variety of squeaks, shrieks, squawks and squeals, Howard tickle tested every bit of exposed skin. First under arms; then chest, tummy and under chin. Occasionally there were giggles and Howard committed these spots to memory. Finally he tossed Vince on to the bed and tried the toes. At once the giggles became constant and irresistible. Howard laughed. The research was done and now the Noir was entirely at his mercy. It was a while before he gave it.

"You... you... you monster," Vince gasped out.

Howard blew pretend smoke off his fingers; then slipped them behind his back.

"I warned you, Kitten."

"I thought you were bluffing," Vince sulked.

"That will teach you. Now..."

"I'll get dressed."

"Good."

"But don't watch me."

"As you wish."

Howard walked towards the door.

"Howard?"

He turned back. Vince was all eyes and smile.

"Yes, little man."

"Can you open my suitcase?"

Howard sighed.

"Please?"

"Okay, Nuisance."

Howard patiently undid the straps and then they each took charge of a zip.

"Race you," Vince challenged.

"You're on."

Howard's zip snagged, but Vince's run was perfect. The Noir teased and Howard rolled his eyes. Before leaving, he took firm hold of his friend's hands.

"Now listen, Vince. You take as much time as you need. Wear what you want. Style your hair. Ring Leroy if you like for tips. You'll always be special to me as you are. Don't ever doubt that again or I'll come at ya."

"Yes, you will," grinned Vince. "Howard, you're special too. I love you."

"I love you too."

They shared a cuddle.


	4. Chapter 4

Gorilla

Bollo finally awakened and discovered that his small master was missing. He growled softly, gathered up the hair covered robes and stumped downstairs. Naboo was seated in the kitchen with Pete, dressed even worse than Harold and drinking tea. He _stared_ at his familiar.

"Grunt," said Bollo.

Pete got to his feet, smiling. "Good morning."

"Grunt grunt."

"_This_," Naboo explained, "is Bollo. My assistant."

Pete nodded. "Cool. You're both welcome."

Bollo dropped the robes on the table and wrapped his arms around Pete.

"Thanks," he growled. "Boo and I go soon."

"Bollo," Naboo scolded. "Sorry, Pete."

The gorilla released his host, who was struggling for breath.

"We're going," insisted Bollo.

"Don't make me turn my back on you."

"Grrumph."

Naboo checked on Pete and gently led him to the living room. Bollo sulked for several minutes before stuffing the Shaman's lain on robes into the washing machine. He added powder and switched it on, before collecting all the dirty crockery and utensils. He washed these carefully in the sink, dried them well and tidied away. Then he ate all the bananas and saved the skins.

**o - o **

Vince changed into fresh underwear; then tried various combinations of tops and bottoms. The fashion world would certainly have moved on without him, but right now, he only wanted to please and surprise his own Howard.

"So..."

'_**Red**_,' prompted his Brain Cell.

"Hmm. The reddest outfit I have is... no, too warm. Where's that blouse?"

He slipped it on gracefully and did up the buttons. Next he selected slender, black trousers, decorated with lines of silver sequins. He kept his feet bare.

'_**Vince**_...'

"Yeah?"

'_**Hair**_?'

"I can't do anything until I've got the dye."

'_**Vincent**_...'

"Don't YOU start."

'_**What happened yesterday was cute**_.'

"Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ."

'_**Pay attention**_. _**You don**_'_**t**_ _**feel right**_, _**do you**_?'

"I feel Fabulous!"

'_**Check it**_.'

"All it needs is a comb."

'_**Check**_. _**It**_.'

"Alright, fine."

Vince stared into his mirror and reluctantly admitted that a Moon Do, delightful as it was to experience, would never win a Best in Show. He looked through his products.

**o - o **

"Bollo."

Naboo stood in the kitchen doorway, arms folded. Bollo was waiting for the laundry to finish. He growled at the shaman.

"Bollo Beast."

"Need go back," the gorilla insisted.

"No. We won't be welcome yet."

Bollo roared, stomped and beat his chest. Naboo stayed still and impassive, so Bollo threw banana skins at him. They all fell short.

"Are you quite finished?" Naboo asked.

Bollo stared, grunted and then very deliberately turned his back. Naboo walked up, sighed and slipped his hand inside a larger one. He took a deep breath and said,

"Bollo, you ball bag. I... love... you."

There was pause of alarming length before Naboo winced slightly. He squeezed back and all of a sudden he was off the ground, captured. _Oh no_. _I should have known_ _better_. _Now he_'_ll_... Sure enough he was once more hugged to within an inch of his life. _Oh poor Vince_. _What did I inflict on you_?

"Bollo love Naboo too."

"Th.. th... th-anks, Bollo." _Crazy ape_. "Now please put me down."

Bollo only chuckled and held on. "Mine, mine."

"Alright, Bollo. We'll go tomorrow."

S-Q-U-E-E-Z-E.

"Or as soon as my clothes are dry." _Honestly_. _Beasts_.

The gorilla set him down gently and Naboo left the room with as much dignity as he could muster. Bollo happily returned his attention to laundry.

"Naboo all soft like lamb. Bollo know now. He's okay. Not like Harold."

He hummed "Electro Boy" in anticipation of Little Prince.

**o - o **

"I mean it's ridiculous," muttered Vince, picking up his root booster. "He watches me get dressed All The Time. He's seen every little bit of me, well, except for... Ugh, well who would want to?"

"_Oh_, _give me strength_," grumbled Tony from within. "_You are so_... _I mean_... He sighed and softened his tone. "_I can teach you_, _but you need to let me out_."

"Octopus!"

"_Tony_."

"Sorry, Tony. I forgot. I was kind of... well, distracted. We'll be there soon."

"_I can breathe_, _don_'_t_ _worry_."

"But why didn't you tell me you were trapped before?"

"_Well_, _I was hoping_... _Don_'_t_ _be nosey_, _Noir_. _Just hurry up_!"

"Okay. Cool your tentacles."

Tony withdrew and Vince continued treating his hair.

**o - o **

Howard walked up and down the corridor, half-relieved and half-disappointed that he had been banished. Adorable as his Kitten was, Vince Noir could be exhausting. Every time he came to the door, he stopped, raised his hand to knock, smiled and decided not to.

"We both need our space. Be patient, Moon."

'**Tut**.'

"What's with you?" he asked Head Cell.

'**Tsk**.'

"I'll see if Naboo's left a key anywhere. We haven't eaten and..."

'**Tk Tk Tk**.'

"...and perhaps we can find a room to rent. One with Two beds, proper shower. This place is depressing."

'**Sigh**.'

"Now, look..."

'**It**'**s** **you two**. **You**'**re** **hopeless**.'

"Why does it matter if we don't? Love is about the little things. The rest is... optional."

'**He**'**s** **a curious creature**. **One day he might**...'

"Not with me. He loves me, but as a best mate, a big brother. And that's how I..."

"**Are you sure**?'

Howard did not answer. Instead he knocked on the door.

"Vince, are you ready?"

The Noir glanced in the mirror before answering, "Yeah. It's not perfect, but... Come on in."

Howard swallowed and pushed it open. Vince was a vision.

"Come here, Mr Tickles."

_Well_, _it_'_s_ _better than Jazz Freak_, thought Howard.

Once more they were in each other's arms.

_This gets easier every time_.

'**Sigh**.'


	5. Chapter 5

Octopus

"Oh, who the hell was I fooling?" snarled Tony. "It's that bloody Noir. He's poisoning me with his infernal sweetness." He flexed his tentacles crossly. "Who would come looking for you? Who would even notice you're gone?" He momentarily pictured a proud, black swan and looked forlorn. "No!" he scolded, shattering the vision. "Get a grip, Harrison. He might notice, but he certainly wouldn't Care. He despises you."

The shaman sulked for several minutes before trying to nudge into the Noir's thoughts again. He was almost instantly repelled by Charlie's gum attack.

"Hah! He can block well enough when he wants to. So that must mean..." Tony sighed heavily. "Just what is it with those two freaks? If they won't do that, then what else is there? And damn it, I'm jealous and that's an outrage."

**o - o **

Vince waited for Howard to sit down and then casually settled in his Keeper's lap.

"Hey," said Howard, surprised.

"Am I heavy?" asked his Kitten, concerned.

"No. Er..."

Howard blushed as he wondered what to do. Vince giggled. Strong Moon arms immediately enclosed the rascal and squeezed.

"Nothing to you. NOW..."

"Yes."

"Gerroff."

"But I'm comfy."

"Sorry. We need to have a serious discussion."

Vince growled and grumbled, but Howard's arms slowly unwrapped and gave him an encouraging push.

"Oy!" Vince yelled.

He stood and faced Howard, hands on hips, lips pouted, eyes glowing. He hissed. His Keeper looked momentarily scared, but composed himself and calmly stood. He _loomed_ just a little.

"Do not hiss at me, Sir."

Vince drooped, gazing at the floor. "Sorry."

Howard waited a moment before patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Okay," he said firmly.

Vince raised his head again with a repentant smile.

"Did I go too far?" he whispered. "Not the hissing. I mean..."

"I..."

Vince grasped Howard's shirt and opened his eyes really wide.

"Because we can't go back to how we were, Howard. We CAN'T!"

There were tears threatening.

"Vince... shh."

Howard once more wrapped up Vince in his arms.

"Shh. We're okay, Kitten. We're okay."

"Really?"

"Shh. You haven't upset me. It's just... I know I'm being an idiot."

"You are," said Vince fondly.

Howard released the smaller man and gave him a _look_. "Sit."

Vince sadly stroked his best friend's shirt, wishing he dared undo the buttons.

"Okay," he whispered.

**o - o **

Tony remembered the day of the Emergency Council Meeting. As usual they were all waiting for Naboo and Saboo was remarking, "He's _legless_ on that carpet, just like _You_, Harrison." Then he glared at Dennis. "Why can't you team Tony with Naboo? They're both _runts_ and they're both _useless_."

"Go and get crunched, you great peacock!" Tony retorted.

"Saboo, Tony, this mission requires discipline and co-operation," reproved Dennis.

"Then assign me with Kirk," Saboo demanded.

"Oy!" Tony shouted. "That pipsqueak's a serial slag and he's stoned."

Saboo raised his eyebrows. Tony grinned at him. Everyone regarded the child-like being sitting at the table end; staring vacantly.

"Kirk, is that true?" Saboo asked.

With no shame whatsoever, Kirk answered, "Yes."

Dennis sighed. Tony giggled. Saboo frowned. Kirk looked up at the sky.

A carpet, flying well above the speed limit, came into view. It was driven by a small man in a blue cloak. Behind him sat a huge gorilla with its paws tight over its eyes. The pair overshot the Board table and crashed down in the next clearing. While Tony yelled "Outrage!" and Saboo berated Dennis about continued indulgence of this latest protégé; Kirk quietly rose and walked towards the accident.

**o - o **

Vince sat on the couch with his hands beneath him, unable to meet Howard's gaze.

"There's no need," Howard coaxed. "Vince, I..."

"Why?" asked his lifelong friend softly. "Why, Howard?"

Howard winced at the pain accompanying the question; the fresh confusion. The eyes were hidden, but his Kitten's mind was wide open. Suppose Boo could sense it too? Howard forced the thought of Bollo far away.

'**Stupid**,' scolded Head Cell. '**So stupid**. **Why do you ruin things**, **Moon**?'

Howard's throat constricted. While he could easily distract Vince with a hair stroke, he knew an answer was long overdue.

"Vi..."

The Noir looked right at him, revealing just how easily those orbs could grey.

"I thought you were over this," Vince accused. "That you finally trusted me."

"Little Man, that isn't... I Do trust you. I Do, Vince. It was Never you."

Vince brought out his hands so he could fold his arms.

"I've never understood, Howard. All my other mates love me to touch them. But You! Either you push me off or you don't react at all. You're worse than Naboo."

"Vince..." Howard sank down next to the cross Kitten. "I didn't mean..."

Cautiously he slid an arm around his friend.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

Howard kept his arm there. The growling stopped.

"Vince... I did like you touching me today."

"Even the leopard kiss?"

"That too. All I'm saying is... I need a break. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, Vince. I really don't. Cuddling is nice and all, but... well, I'm not an addict. I'm sorry."

Vince stayed silent for an uncomfortable length of time. Howard continued talking.

"I know that doesn't make any sense. But I'll let you know when I'm ready again. Okay, Kitten?"

Vince sighed heavily. "Okay, you freak. I still love you."

"Thank you. Me too." Howard removed his arm. "Now, I think..."

Vince sprang up and headed for the stairs.

"Come on, Howard. We need to free the octopus."

"What? Wait! Vince!" Howard charged after the kitten. "Whoah there."

'**He**'**s** **more patient than you deserve**,' chided Head Cell.

"Not the time. Off!"

**o - o **

_Flashback cont._

Naboo nonchalantly approached the Council, unaccompanied by the gorilla or Kirk.

"What's the emergency?" he demanded.

"You're a disgrace!" yelled Tony.

"Where's Kirk?" Saboo asked sharply.

"Naboo... you are not responsible," lectured Dennis. "And therefore I select Saboo and Tony to capture the creature."

"What creature?" everyone asked.

Dennis paused for effect and answered, "The Noir."


	6. Chapter 6

Distraction

The kitten bounded down the stairs barefoot, heedless of the shouts behind him. He simply could not understand why his best mate would refuse further touching. The memory of having his hands on that wondrous chest... lips on precious skin... and especially Howard's fingers all over Vince.

_Stupid jazzy freak_, he raged. _We were so prrrrfect and now he has to spoil it_.

'_**That**_'_**s**_ _**no good reason to be letting out a rapist**_,' scolded his Brain Cell.

Ignoring this, Vince entered the shop and looked around at all the empty shelves.

_Boring_. _But what if they were filled with Gary Numan and David Bowie_? _Or every hair product ever created_? _Imagine_ _that_.

"Vincent Noir, you get back up those stairs right now," ordered Howard, bursting into the room. "You can't..."

Vince smiled at his agitated friend; then began bouncing and waving his arms.

"Howard, we could have a jazz section in here too and stationary... it would be genius."

"What are you talking about?"

"Our very own shop. Boo's always wanted one. We can sell cool stuff and er... things you like."

Howard frowned, but at least Vince was no longer fixated on rapists.

"We'll talk about it upstairs, Kitten."

A completely lost expression appeared on Vince's face.

"I came down here for something special. It's important. I..."

"Come ON." Howard stopped himself from grabbing, lest he tear the delicate blouse. "Your feet are filthy and..."

"YOU two are such bumberclarks," Tony yelled, startling them. "It's ME you want."

"Octopus!" realised Vince. "Sorry. Where are you?"

There was an urgent tapping from a cupboard behind the counter.

"Here. And for the last time... I'm Tony. Stop insulting me."

"I didn't mean to."

"Alright," Tony sighed. "Just come and get me out."

Vince looked at his keeper.

"NO," Howard objected. "Up STAIRS. No argument."

"But, Howard..." The blue eyes were very big.

"Or I shall have to deal with you."

"How?" asked Vince excitedly, earning a _look_.

"Well..."

Tony swore and then scornfully asked, "Who does he think he is? Your _dad_?"

"Boo's my dad," replied Vince. "Howard's my... mine."

The kitten tilted his head and gazed at his keeper with complete adoration. Howard blushed instantly and smiled. Then he looked stern again and held out his hand. A soft paw placed itself inside and was engulfed.

"He's in there for a reason, Vince. He's dangerous."

"I am not," Tony protested.

"What would you do?" asked Vince, not listening to either.

Howard shook his head; Tony sighed. With Vince still pestering and Tony incredulous, the taller man simply headed back upstairs.

"_What_ are they?" Tony demanded of the whole universe. "_What_?"

A small, pink ball dropped softly out of Vince's free hand and rolled to Tony's cupboard. Slowly it grew in size and shaped itself back into a vacuum cleaner. Charlie peered at the lock. There was no key.

"They are hopeless," he explained to Tony.

"Which is why they need _me_," the shaman answered.

"Not really."

"Can I ask you?"

"If you like."

Charlie fired a blob of extra sticky gum at the lock and waited.

"Is he meant to be that thick?"

"Vince is innocent," Charlie corrected. "And vulnerable."

"Yeah, but..."

"A Noir is always searching for an identity and they fall victim to an entire world."

Tony considered this. "That's not the way it's phrased in the prophecy."

"That would never happen on purpose."

"He's just a time bomb."

"No, he has a Keeper."

"_Howard_!" scorned Tony. "That ball-less bag!"

"It isn't about sex."

"That just _has_ to be it."

"No."

The word was uttered with such finality that Tony shut up. Charlie slid away.

**o - o **

"Really, Howard. What would you do?" Vince persisted.

Still deliberately not speaking a word to this exasperating kitten, Howard began to wash those dirty paws. Vince giggled instead.

"You are a nuisance," Howard muttered.

"Please let me tickle you too."

"I am _not_ ticklish."

"Can I stroke your 'tache?"

"NO."

"Just a little kiss?"

"Certainly not."

"Why are you scared, Howard?"

The keeper was startled by the question. He carefully dried the first foot and wriggled on a clean sock. He washed the other, all the while conscious of first an unwavering stare and then a gentle probing inside his mind.

_I know you_'_re scared_. _Tell me_, Vince tele-whispered. _Tell me_, _Howard_.

"That I'll lose you."

_You won_'_t_. _I promise_.

Howard half-smiled. He finished the foot.

"I promise, Howard."

The keeper stood and kissed Vince's nose.

"Okay, Kitten."


	7. Chapter 7 - Coaxing

Coaxing

"Howard..." The kitten's beautiful eyes were filled with fresh hope. "Howard... Howard... please..."

His friend tugged nervously at his moustache. He swallowed hard, tried to speak, failed. Vince smiled sweetly, patting the seat cushion.

'**What are you waiting for**?' urged Head Cell. '**He doesn**'**t** **bite**.'

Howard turned deep red, but remained motionless. He was certain all his tiny hairs were on end and looking back at Vince was surprisingly difficult.

_Please_, came a whisper inside his mind. _Sit here_. _With me_. _Please_, _Howard_.

'_**You shouldn**_'_**t**_ _**have to beg**_, _**Vince**_,' grumbled his impatient Brain Cell.

The Noir fluttered his eye-lashes and began twirling his hair idly. Howard was hypnotised. He took a step forward, smiling.

_That_'_s_ _it_. _Come on_. _We_'_re_ _best friends_, _Howard_. _Nothing changed_.

"You... er... um... we..."

Vince giggled, causing Howard to frown. Both of their Cells face-palmed.

"Sorry," said Vince quickly; then with determination, "Sit...down."

'**NOW**,' commanded Head Cell.

While time seemed to stand still, an outraged pink shaman intruded on Vince's mind. "Noir, what the hell are you doing up there? He's a wasted effort."

_No_, _he isn_'_t_, Vince protested. _He_'_s_...

"Spare me," Tony groaned. "Now, do you want to be a child forever?"

_Yes_. '_**No**_,' answered Kitten and the Cell together.

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggh! YOU ARE THE WORST..." Tony took some deep breaths, while Vince watched Howard take the tiniest step forward. "I didn't mean to yell. It clearly isn't your fault. It's your upbringing. If Saboo and I had moulded you..."

_Hey_, _I'm_ _perfectly fine and I can_'_t_ _deal with you right now_. _This is delicate_. _Who_'_s_ _Saboo_? Vince closed his eyes, still playing with his locks. _Is he an octopus too_?

"NO, you little dumbum. Quit that. He is tall and dark and..."

_Handsome_? Vince grinned his broadest. _Your very own_?

"How DARE you! He and I are certainly NOT... You WAIT, Noir. I'll TENTACLE you!"

_I get better offers_. _Goodbye_.

With that, Vince snipped Tony's connection and opened his eyes, dazzling Howard.

"Now," he said softly. "Or else."

Howard gave his best friend a strong _look_; then strode forward. Vince only looked cheeky, not frightened at all.

"Or else what?" Howard asked, tweaking the crooked nose.

"You first," giggled Kitten.

_Tweak_.

"You are cute, Howard."

_Tweak_.

"Erm... Howard, you have to sit down first."

_Tweak_. "Alright, you little pest."

Vince giggled again and waited for Howard to join him.

"So?" said Howard, making certain there was a good size gap between them.

"Oh no, you don't."

Vince moved up and snuggled into his keeper's side.

"Hey," Howard protested, but did not pull away as the kitten confidently rested its head on a comfortable Moon shoulder.

"Or else I'll personally measure you for a costume."

"I know my measurements, Sir."

"I am going to look at you, Howard Moon."

"Are you indeed?"

"Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."

"You're the cute one."

"And you're... you're all mine."

Howard blushed again.

"So stop being silly," Vince chided. "I am STILL going to touch you."

"So long as you don't get carried away."

"No promises."

Both fell into a contented silence; while below them Tony fumed and Charlie waited for Vince to remember him.

"He's never dreamt of me with legs," sighed the helper. "Or wings either."

"Legs," snarled Tony. "Who needs them?"

"They're good for stairs."

"Being up high makes me feel ill. That's when anyone bothers to carry me."

"You're useless."

"But your Noir... pathetic!"

" "He loves," said Charlie simply. "He's pure."

"But he's still fully capable of endangering the whole planet."

"That really isn't his intention."

"The prophecy..."

"Is a load of balls."

"Which are completely lacking above," Tony muttered.

**o - o **

Howard succeeded in sliding an arm around Vince.

"Kitten, this is nice, but..."

"It's your turn."

"What?"

"Dealing with me."

Howard chuckled. "I tweaked your nose."

"Yeah, but..."

"No more tickling today," said Howard firmly.

"Are you sure you're not ticklish?"

"... Quite sure, Vince."

"Hmm."

"You dare and I'll..."

"Yes?"

Howard sighed. "That's quite enough. We need to discuss..."

" ... Outfits."

"You're impossible."

"So are you."

"Vince... shhh."

"Let's sleep."

"That's the thing, Vince. This flat... it'll drive us crazy. We need to..."

"Prrrrrrrr. Prrrrrrrrrr."

Howard realized Vince was already asleep.

"Kittens," he muttered.

'**Moons**,' retorted Head Cell.

"If I sleep too..."

'**Surrender**, **Howard**.'

"I guess I will."

Howard closed his eyes and insisted that Vince take a time out.

_Why_?

So I can plan what to do with you.

_Oh_. _Okay then_.

Vince settled into his hammock, while Howard relaxed in his jazz jacuzzi.

Kittens, Howard thought. Easy to manage when you know how.

**'You**'**re** **hopeless**,' grumbled Head Cell.

Moments later, Howard received a full leopard kiss and resigned himself.


End file.
